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She wanted to be heard

She wanted to be heard. 
The positive affirmations were beautiful,
Yet they invalidated her truth. 
She just wanted to be heard. 
And to be held. 
You see, there’s so much to process through.
She would cry loudly,
and then she was told to stop crying. 
She would say no
yet told to do it anyway. 
And slowly,
her voice was muted.
She figured silence was the answer. 
So she’s learning to speak up for herself these days - she’s learning once again to speak her truth.
For the most part, she’s still figuring it out.
And all she needs is for you to hear her for who she is. 
When she tells you that she is not ok, she doesn’t need you to tell her that she is - she’ll get there.
When she tells you that she is sad, just hear her - IF she allows you to, hold her. 
Don’t just rejoice when she’s smiling or happy, you’ll just teach her how to make herself acceptable again. 
These are all valid emotions. 
Remember that she has YEARS of being silenced to process. 
She is just now hearing what her voice sounds like. 
Please don’t shut her down. 
Maybe she’ll never be who you want her to be. 
It’s quite possible that her human experience may never be understood by you. 
And that’s okay.

Trusting you with her truth isn’t easy. 
And sometimes
Maybe most times
You may not be her first choice to talk to.
Please don’t take it personal, it’s not about you. 
It’s about her.
For the first time in her life, it’s about her. 
And if there comes a time when she is truly ready to be free, please let her be. 
Remember it’s not about you, it’s about her.

Crystal JonesComment